#028: Did You Just Gaslight Me? With Shannon Higgins, M.A., LPC-S
Have you been told you’re insecure, crazy and jealous,and started to doubt your own reality and sanity? Did they insult you and follow it up with “it’s only a joke, you’re too sensitive!“? Well then you’ll want to listen to this.
Shannon Higgins, a Licensed Professional Counselor is herself a survivor to thriver of narcissistic abuse from her ex-husband, this took place well after she specialized in her field of abuse. This can truly happen to anyone.
*Content note: this episode discusses abusive relationships, discretion is advised, if you experience any unease from this, please contact a local mental health helpline or a Trauma Trained Therapist*
We go over:
// What is a narcissist? There’s a spectrum, including the healthy kind.
// What is gaslighting?
// I read your submission of real life gaslighting stories both at the beginning & at the end of the episode.
// You don’t have to have had a toxic childhood to be a target of gaslighting.
// Not all gaslighters are narcissists, they can simply be toxic people but not actual narcissists.
// Is gaslighting always intentional, even when parents do it?
// How & why people become gaslighters.
// How to deal with a gaslighting parent.
// Complex PTSD.
// Why we think it’s our fault when we’re being gaslighted.
// The signs that you’re being gaslighted.
// The Human Magnet & Trauma Bonding Syndromes.
// Why gaslighters thrive on targeting successful people.
// Abuse amnesia and cognitive dissonance.
// The importance of not throwing the label out ‘just because’ someone doesn’t cater to our every whim or just isn’t a very good communicator as it invalidates those who really go through such a destructive ordeal of being emotionally abused and vilifies those who simply lack a skill but aren’t malicious.
// The difference between pushing back because we are secure versus gaslighting.
// Why some find it harder to ask and express what they need which in turns enables a toxic relationship.
// What specialist therapies Shannon recommends if you suffered from an abusive relationship (be it intimate or from a parent).
// It doesn’t always look like a big deal (but it is!) & why the outside world does not understand your situation and often blame the victim to be the instigator.
For current therapies, you can look up a Trauma Trained Therapist that uses one or a combo of these therapies:
// Brain Spotting is phenomenal and has long term benefits.
// Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
// Somatic Experiencing Therapy.
// EMDR.
// Brainspotting.
Shannon’s recommended resources:
// "Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths and Other Toxic People" & "Whole Again" Jackson MacKenzie.
// “Why Does He Do That?” Lundy Bancroft.
// "Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse" Shannon Thomas, LCSW.
// "The Empath's Survival Guide" Judith Orloff, M.D.
// "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" George K. Simon, Ph.D.
// "Shadow Daughter: A Memoir of Estrangement" Harriet Brown (about a daughter with a mom who has a personality disorder).
// "Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists" Sandra Brown, M.A.
// "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden, Emotional and Psychological Abuse" Debbie Mirza.
// "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" Pete Walker, M.A.
// choosecourage.org
Find Shannon at https://unlockingfortitude.com/ & on insta at shannonhigginslpc
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